One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

By One Foot In The Grave Guy

Hey There!  I want to let you know how my new fitness lifestyle is coming along.  After just over 10 days into it, I’ve come to learn that this is going to be quite a commitment for a couple of reasons.

1. Eating healthy cost more than eating crappy. And, in case you haven’t noticed the healthy foods don’t even taste as good! Case in point…a loaf of white bread with around 30 slices costs about a dollar while a loaf of whole wheat with maybe 10 slices costs about 4 bucks! On the other hand, maybe that’s the angle…on a fixed budget one will buy less quantity of a better quality, which equals fewer calories and hence weight loss.

2. Exercising takes time and I for one can tell you that after pounding out my first 15 minute mile (I wanted to maintain a steady and heart-friendly pace) - I was exhausted. I finally got up my courage to give it a go this past weekend. Yep, I laced up my best pair of Chuck Taylor high tops, threw on my favorite cargos, donned my slightly worn Rolling Stones tank, put on my yellow Sony cassette Walkman and went out. And did I get the honks and yells! Ha, from one car I heard, “Love the tube socks, Dude”! I think the tube socks actually make me look faster than I really am, so I’m going to keep wearing them. Plus, they have the added benefit of making me sweat more, which is good because I think most of my excess weight is water anyway…so after I ran I didn’t drink anything, no sense in putting back what I’d just worked so hard to get rid of, right?

I also started looking into joining a local gym in hopes that I can one day have the same body as Will Ferrell.  He and I are about the same height, so why not? From everything I’ve read I need to make sure that I do cardio along with weight training. For those readers who are unsure of the term cardio, it basically means exercises that raise the heart rate for an extended period of time. The funny thing is that my heart rate rises the moment I walk through the door at home every evening after work, but I guess that’s not quite the same. Cardio would be more like getting up from the couch and sprinting to the refrigerator rather than simply walking to it. There’s some exertion required in the sprint.

So, anyway, I went to a gym, inquired about a membership and with my inquiry I received a free, 1 week, pass. I had my gym bag with me so I decided to try it out. With my Walkman attached on my waistband I headed into the free weight room to start with the bench press. I was a bit nervous when I saw all the different equipment but then I witnessed a guy smaller than me putting two of the biggest weights on each end of a barbell. “Wow”, I said to myself, “that little guy’s going to press 225 pounds!” Well, sure enough he hoisted it off the posts and quickly brought it down on his chest.  But that’s as far as he got. I heard his muffled cry for help and I went to assist him. We managed to get it back on the holders and he couldn’t help but explain that he was working his 5^th set and just had a hard time completing the 10^th rep! …I am no longer nervous!

Shameless Plug: All Things Fitness

Getting Back in Shape

By One Foot In The Grave Guy

Of course by the title you’d think that this guy was once in shape, but that would naturally depend on the definition of “shape”. For most Half Dead Guys like me, we wake up one morning, and while looking in the mirror actually stop and wonder what happened…who’s that guy? This happened to me about 10 years ago, so I no longer shave in front of the mirror but rather in the shower, problem solved! But, the shower thing has come home to roost now. It seems that it takes more soap to wash my body. And, why would that be? Probably for the same reason that it takes more denim in my newest pair of blue jeans or more leather in my belts!

So now I’m endeavoring to try to get myself back into shape and from everything I’ve read it seems like the first thing to do is to set some realistic goals. My first goal will be to get back in shape before it’s too late. This is totally manageable and I’m feeling better already about no pressured timeline.

The second thing I need to do before I start exercising is see my physician. He needs to make sure that I’m in good enough shape before I can really get myself in shape. This does seem a little backwards. I know plenty of guys who go to the doctor when something is wrong and they’re in great shape…so why don’t I do this? BH…enough said! Hopefully he won’t tell me that it’s too late because then I would have to rename myself the “Mostly Dead Guy”.

Then, after that, I’m going to set out to learn as much about exercising and fitness and perhaps sign-up for an on-line exercising community. Large teams may not be great at work, but when it comes to fitness support from other is the key. I’ve found two that are intriguing: http://www.gyminee.com/ which shows exercises, allows tracking and logging of exercises and food intake, and friends. The other, http://www.crossfit.com/, provides a WOD (that’s Work-Out of the Day), but is really hardcore. This site is ideal for the guy who wants to not only chase down a bad guy but beat the crap out of him as well!

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like the more out of shape I get, the more fitness magazines covered with ripped guys show up at my door. Their piercing eyes never let you forget your career involves mostly sitting in meetings and exercising your Pterygoidei muscles. While you're at work tomorrow, that smiling guy to the right will be at the gym, tannery, or on a photo shoot. I think I know why he's smiling...

More to come of HDG's fitness program…but now it's off to my refrigerator for a cold one!

Shameless Plug: All Things Fitness

By "One Foot In The Grave" Guy