Half Dead Guy just can’t get his folically-challenged head around the 
corruption charges against Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.
Coming from a long line of early-to-reveal their scalp men, I realize the importance of not wasting a nice, full head of hair. It pains me to see someone waste their hair like this. I had to find out what we all suspect is true – Is there a connection between hair abuse and moral turpitude?
Case 1: Rod Blagojevich
Charged With: Trying to sell a senate seat and [bleeping] saying a lot of potty words
Picture Proof:
OK, that wasn’t fair. The last picture was taken right after he got out of the shower.
Case 2: Ohio Representative James Traficant
Charged With: Taking Bribes, Racketeering, etc.
Picture Proof:
Traficant had to take the dead animal off his head when he was booked into Summit County Jail, but was allowed to keep it in his cell - never know when you’re going to need to look your best in jail.
Case 3: Ohio Representative Bob Ney
Charged With: Accepting cash and casino chips for services
Picture Proof:
Casino chips? Might as well have been paper carnival ticket from an arcade. Maybe they were out of lottery tickets.
Maybe the results aren’t 100% conclusive but this is a good start. HDG needs a few more data points and my guess is the charges will keep rolling in and you can bet that I’ll keep watching for hair abuse.
Maybe we should adopt the wig rule forcing politicians and judges to wear wigs like these happy guys:
That certainly would level the playing field and let honest bald guys run for office for a “real change”.
2 Comments from MAG Readers:
Wonderfully crafted language. Not sure what your profession is but you are great at writing. That is the "the" thing left for me to learn from you as i don't work with you anymore :-)
Who could anonymous be? Half Dead Guy has worked with so many BRILLIANT people in his 1/2 life...
Post a Comment